Ctrl Z

profilepicture

thats me

this is a blog ig

day 1

castle town is full while deltachat is empty

its very weird because i love talking in deltachat but its a wasteland and now i have to get used to the regulars in castle town instead of being in deltachat

i barely know anyone there and i almost have never gone there, stayed there, or talked to anyone there

for comaparison, i have 4k (almost 5k) messages in castle town and i have 37k in deltachat. i really dont like how abandoned deltachat is i miss the new days but now its back to the old days which i missed in the new days but now its the now days if that makes sense

modding for servers is hard and easy. i dont really have to deal with stuff that often but when i do its very hard to judge people. ive been told that im way too nice when it comes to actually getting someone punished.

i dont know how im going to organize this "blog" so ill prolly be lazy and just say day 1 and stuff. btw all of this is day 1 (oct 22nd 10:20pm EST)

im worried

im worried about brae.

people like dont like me in lighthaven. i was told to cry them a river when i was defending why i shouldnt get banned, they said i deserved to be harassed and they just constantly talk about me (negativly) behind my back.

im still a mod there though.

a "head mod"

anyways i found that one surfing song

its pretty fun idk i like birdbrain also

i think ive listened to like 5 hours of birdbrain over the course of a week idkkkkk

i still dont know the lyrics 😭

heyyy i figured out how to put the 😭 sob emoji into here heh.

dude here we are from undertale is sooooooooooo good.

so is unexpectdency part 2 from pizza tower

idk if i spelled that right or not

i wonder what the 10 thousandth ban will be in deltacord

i havent posted in my youtube channel for ages. i need to get my songs out but im procrastinating

im cold

oh nice i have 862 subs

what in the peak am i listening to holyyyyyyy

thank god this got views i wanted to trick people so much

hahalmaoviews

ofc its not real but they wouldve clicked on it and have gotten wing door-ed

idk what a point of a blog is if no one is gonna read it but sure im doing this hahaha losers

making a website, it turns out, is easy.

i think ive successfully ruined my sleep schedule but idc

yapping here is cool haha

also im like hated by susan from deltacord for no reason 😭

ok ttyl later haha

if i dont forget

day 2

i just got banned from senacord for no reason. some member admitting to raiding a server and then sena didnt punish them and purged chat and then i said "destroying evidence" as a lil jab, nobody cared and then i said "this is bologna" like after a minute and then i look away and im banned. after reaching out to ena i found out i broke the rules 4 and 6, which i didnt even do. rule 4 is to not bring up trauma or abuse as a joke, and rule 6 is to listen to the mods, which the mods didnt give me any warning before getting banned. apparently they are just shittalking me while im gone and not even using the correct pronouns 😭

this is bologna

shaking

it has been clear obv i am not welcome there for NO reason. they basically hate for no reason haha funny yes i am cracking up right now slapping my knee

i dont like that i banned ena. she seems nice and i did it for no reason. im a jerk. people told me whoever were in sena's discord needed to be banned. i regret that

funny image ggbrae sent when i found out i wasnt welcome there after getting kicked the first time from senacord

garfield

invited ena back yayyyyyy!! hope they like it there :)

uh oh

oh god

ena just invited burghley.

gaku isnt gonna be happy.

hopefully everything goes smoothly. idk. my computer dies in 7 minutes.

i found a charger

they seem to be getting along but i dont think they

idk

fit... in???

idk

is that mean to say

i mean im so used to them being in bland chats

they might just disrupt chat flow and make it like senacord HELP IS THAT MEAN TO SAY

lets go brae is okay

happy

and im no longer shaking

its 1AM i need to sleep

i dont want to

its morning now im in school and my teacher's voice is so annoying

im gonna try to upload a video to youtube today at least

i have art today and im making a tenna chia pet 🄹

ill try to get a picture later

guh i hate that my school blocked discord

at least they didnt block the website that says fuck you in the title

any time i get to choose where to sit i always choose some chair sitting back to the wall so nobody can be behind me and look at my device.

i dont like waking up/coming back from school to discord with 20 pings and that happens a lot 😭

usually i go on discord while im in science but i cant so im typing here. they blocked youtube in my school too.

its so cold

thank god they closed the windows

i cant wait till art but then i have social studies after that which is pretty bad because its really boring and confusing for no reason 🫩🫩🫩

i wonder if i can figure out how to make a gradient background for this website

i did it guys isnt it cool

i made it look like my discord gradient so thats fun haha

i doubt anyone will look at this site and they'll just say they did but thats ok i guess i dont really care about that. anything i was gonna put in zed talk will go in here now so thats cool.

people kept saying its bad for me to go into senacord like snas and even ena so idk maybe ill never go in there again.

but what if they talk about me

idk maybe ill go back maybe i wont and just keep wondering

guh

people say deltacord is 1984 but it has very easy rules to follow 😭

though i REALLY dont like going into castle town. i hope deltachat gets filled again and isnt empty like when i joined the server.

guh imagine if i face revealed here

reltacord is cool im glad i was able to build a community of nice people its so cool and chill 🄹

i always thought the server would've exploded earlier and i'd just give everyone admin to ruin the server but now its just lowk chilling 😭

i think ill have to add gradient colors a lot because i dont want it to be just a stretched gradient so i have to yap a lot right now so it looks not squished either so hi chat hi nobody is reading this but hi hi

i recently watched spiderverse 2. its so peakkkkk i wish the 3rd one came out already its just so cool.

i cant believe i was able to upload my one fucked up ramb gif that was so peak

it sucks i cant upload mp3 files here because i'd upload a bunch of my songs 🄹

i slept almost all ela class sighhh. i went to bed at like 2AM

i think im gonna lose my nitro soon which is sad i like my cool gradient

mayhaps i could buy it again or get it gifted to me idk i dont like begging for things

i hate things locked behind a pay wall cough cough LIKE UPLOADING AUDIO FILES TO NEOCITIES... cough cough

i get to leave classes early because i have audio processing disorder which i dont think i have at all but thats what my mom told them apparently so i can listen to music in class haha ig idk im not really supposed to im just supposed to wear them

nobody's gonna read all of this

oml i cant get a picture of my tenna chia pet because im working on a different project

i had to write a poem in ela

foundpoem

it was a found poem so its about scallops for some reason 😭 but yeah is it cool

why am i asking like you can answer

i drew tenna which im pretty proud of

tenna

maybe ill make it my banner for discord

i drew spamton on my desk

spamtononadesk

idk im bad at drawing spamton but i love drawing tenna. i do it all the time, tenna is just all over my papers.

---

i just realized random people can see this and they dont have context of whats going on so uh yeah so like I’m ctrl z I’m a member in deltacord and I think I’m a popular member idk also im they/them

i didnt realize i could check views and comments what

---

guh random thought i just hate when people say "he or she" as a phrase when you can just say they. its faster and theres not just 2 pronouns 🄹

sighs

i drew something but i dont know if i want to show it off cause i think it looks bad idk

smh

if i come back to discord with more than 6 pings then im gonna be so annoyed 😭😭😭

i just hate coming back to something where people talked for hours and i have to catch up

yay only 3 pings lets go

Day 3

i got twitter.

twitter is kinda funny ig

anyways heres googolplex written out

it has 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 volumes. 😭

Day 3

GAHHHHHH I MADE A MISTAKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK SO LIGHTHAVEN THE PLACE WHERE I WAS BEING SHIT TALK THERE I SAID SOMETHING IN THE VENT CHANNEL AND SOMEONE READ IT WRONG AND IT LOOKED MEAN AND ITS THE SAME GUY WHO WAS MEAN A LOT TO ME SO I TALKED TO THE OWNER AND THEY SAID I COULD BAN THEM SO I DID BUT THEY READ IT WRONG AND NOW I SCREWED UP IM SO MAD AT MYSELF

i went to a party yesterday and i got a headache and it hurt sooooooo much

ALSO i finally uploaded today which is peaks!

soul is really nice and cool and a good person

also at school yesterday the guy i punched for bullying me a lot like a lot and being just a bitch in general denied i punched him to everyone and started being nicer to me and it was so weird

tbf i also denied i punched him but i got more info on how much it hurt because they said i made his lip bleed

i know saying i punched someone sounds bad but this kid is the worst person ever.

the party i went to was loud asf

grrr i lost my nitro eugh

i was planning on leaving discord forever yesterday

well prolly coming back in like 2 years

i mean nobody would care if i were gone

i even took off my profile picture

i cant believe people look at this

this blog

i hate the problem of having to know what people think of me, it always comes up

"why are you still in that server anyways?" and then its the same reason i fear saying now because i cant stop even when i realize the problem

i keep doing it

soul is so cool im so scared she might go away or

im sad

Day 4

soul is going to be fine so im happy now

i got a bunch of undertale/deltarune related games on my phone now, so i get to play ts underswap, deltarune and undertale yellow on my phone

pretty cool but uhhhh the undertale yellow is broken and made clover red help 😭😭😭

red????

oh also i left lighthaven as everyone basically said to and i thought it was the right idea after getting so much blame for banning a member who in my point of view, told me that nobody would miss me if i died. but yeah idk i left now.

its hard to explain why i left to members of the server

what the heck is wrong with the code why does it highlight some letters in pink

idontknowwhatswrong

i keep watching that one hbomber video of the roblox oof sfx so much because its so good

im cold

i keep forgetting to update this blog but yeah its cool ig

i need 2 more dollars till i can get hollow knight silk song!!! its gonna be peak

Day 5

i was going to go back to lighthaven but when i did they still were just badmouthing me so im 100% not going back

also necro for some reason keeps using he/him pronouns for me after i correct them

sigh whatever im not rejoining lighthaven

my back hurts

Burghley wants me to talk to sena about why she hates me but i dont want to because i have decided i dont care what she thinks of me anymore

isnt that cool ive gotten over my problem a little

i still think i shouldnt own a server because im not responsible enough

people tell me im doing fine but ive defended people who have done a lot of bad things idk this is bad

i should just give owner to someone else and leave or something

nobody'll miss me

anyways im listening to the hbomber video again 🄹

its really peak i love his videos

---

so i blocked necro and they keep bringing up i blocked them and called me the holy ctrl z 😭😭😭

they also tried to reach out with their alt but obv i am NOT doing ts like take a hint bro

ctrl z shit as usual 🄹

dear necro: IM THEY THEM STOP USING HE HIM IN YELLED AT YOU 16 TIMES PLEASE STOP

i have so many screenshots of them using he/him with me and then i correct them and they do it after 😭

please necro

necro TAKE THE HINT

please stop complaining i blocked you in deltacord its not like its the first time 😭

thank god necro is being handled for misgendering me like 30 times atp

w mods as usual

idontknowwhatswrong

ah yes a single misgender

HELP THEY CHANGED THEIR STATUS TO SAY "I got blocked by ctrl z. best day ever" LIKE BESTIE YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT IT ALL DAY AND GOT BANNED 😭😭😭

---

ok so i gave ownership of my server away but its only gonna be for a week

hopefully snas won't burn my server to a crisp but i trust her

Day 7 i think

i missed a couple of days uhhh halloween tomorrow yayyyy

also ive been watching too much danny gonzalez and hes so funny 😭

i dont know what to be for halloween so i have to improvise

ive been playing a lot of ts!underswap lately its sooooooOOOOOOOOO peak

at school some kid splashed soda directly at me so now my jacket is dirty

well that stinks